Setting Expectations

One of the most important things I do in my job is to set realistic expectations. There's nothing worse than having a conversation and accidentally setting an expectation that you cannot meet or exceed. It makes closing a deal very difficult, if not impossible. I find it is better to be completely realistic and set an accurate expectation than it is to say what the other person wants to hear (or, more accurately, what you THINK they want to hear).

Here are some examples of setting wrong expectations and how easy it is to do:

1) prospective seller says to me, "so I hear the market is picking up." I say, "yeah, it is really booming right now. Prices are as much as 25% higher than 3 years ago." That prospect hears, "I can get 25% more than what I paid for this house 3 years ago." This could definitely be an unrealistic expectation. The number I said may be accurate for the market as a whole but not necessarily for his neighborhood. Plus, he could have trashed his house in 3 years but doesn't see that (pigs don't know pigs stink, ya know).

2) Buyer says to me, "Will they take this offer?" I say, "I definitely would if I were in their shoes." Buyer hears, "any normal thinking person would take this offer." Then what if they don't? What if they counter? Automatically the buyer thinks we are dealing with either a jerk or an idiot, both of which could be true but probably are not.

3) I say to my wife, "I only have a little bit of work to do." She hears, "I will be done in 10 minutes and we can go to dinner." An hour later I finish up and she is mad at me for taking too long.

My point is this, words are powerful because they set expectations for your actions. The thing is, people hear your words through a filter that is their own preconceived notion of the discussion topic. Most of the time you are not privy to the past events that set up that filter. Generally the best way to avoid the confusion is to ask more questions and to listen more than you talk. If you do this, you will probably pick up on the filters and set more accurate expectations. This could totally change your business and certainly make your life better. When you figure out some specific methods to do this, let me know and we will write a book together.

Expectations

So this morning I was contemplating what to write and I thought about expectations. Specifically, the power of expectations and the role expectations play in shaping our culture, our lives, our experiences. You may not ever really give much thought to the idea of expectations but they are always present, shading your every move. 99% of the time they are subconscious, only rising to the surface when they are NOT met. For example, your boss is a jerk. You go to work expecting to be mad at him or her. Guess what, you get mad at him or her. No surprise, you expected it to be that way. But what if the jerk boss surprised you with an encouraging word, a raise, a promotion, a cupcake or something like that. Your expectation would NOT be met and it would certainly shade the experience. Perhaps you would change your opinion of your boss, perhaps you would expect the hammer to fall at some point. Those expectations turned something fairly ordinary into an event shaded with fear, suspicion, elation, contemplation or some other emotion simply because what you expected to happen did not happen. Keep this in mind, we have lots of names for expectations--fear, anxiety, anticipation, restlessness, motivation, etc. Different names, but the same thing tied to differing emotions.

Expectations are super important in my line of work. When I meet with a buyer for the first time it is essential that I find out what their expectations are. See, they may have set their expectations from gathering information from sources like Trulia or Zillow. These sources are notoriously incorrect. They may have set their expectations from a previous experience with another Realtor. I need to find out if that Realtor was competent, a good communicator, etc. They may have set their expectations from the national media. If thats the case, then I have a TON of work to do! Regardless, I have to find out "where they are coming from" in order to best serve them. My goal is always to exceed their expectations, or at least meet them. I never want to fall short. Why? Because expecations color the experience and determine whether or not they will become fans. Most importantly, I am in the service industry. If I didn't meet or exceed my clients' expectations, what did I really even do for them?

So, how do I do this. Number 1, I simply ask them. What do you intend to happen? How much do you intend to spend? What kind of time frame are we dealing with? What information have you already gathered? From where? Have you purchased a home before? Was it a pleasant experience? You get the idea. For sellers, it is basically the same thing, just a little more in depth about the specific home and financial situation.

What other ways do expectations cloud our perceptions? How about in the dating arena? Like it or not our parents' relationship often sets our expectations. Our intake of media sets expectations. Our friends set expectations. Be very careful in relationships to acknowledge where your expectations come from and if they are worthwhile expectations. Often, they are not. They are unrealistic, unhealthy and unattainable. I'm not saying to lower your criteria, but rather to simply look at it from a holistic perspective.

Think about some areas of your life where your expectations hold you back. How about your spiritual life? Are you afraid to go to church because you expect the people there to be judgemental? Totally understandable but unhealthy. What about your job? Just because you never got a promotion does not mean you won't be promoted. BUT, you definitely won't be promoted if you go through your job everyday expecting that the boss hates you.

I would love to hear about how your expectations held you back and you overcame those. I would also challenge you to identify and to challenge the expectations in your life that might be detrimental. Have a great week.