Friday, October 8, 2010

Got Permission

Ok, so the tease is over. This is a true story and one that needs to be shared. For the record, I am absolutely not telling this story to make fun of my wife. It was one of those life moments that occurred and most people will find to be a "real" moment and one that they can possibly relate to. I think it is something that either already has or absolutely should be integrated into one of those "family sitcoms."

Monday was Jonas' 4th birthday. We were having an awesome family day. We woke up and went to Chuck E. Cheeses' and played for a while. Then we went to lunch at Demos' (Jonas wanted spaghetti and we wanted Demos'--perfect!). After that we headed up to Nashville so I could turn in some stuff at the office. Jonas and Cindy played on the Wii while I got my stuff done. Then we went to the Zoo and played on their epic playground. All during this Jonas was getting his birthday presents one at a time. He got a new pair of cowboy boots (with Buzz and Woody on them that light up!) first thing, then he got a new movie to watch in the van (that didn't work at first, of course), then he got a new book to read when the movie didn't work. Well, the last present was given to him after we visited the Zoo. It was a little Betta tank. We then drove down Nolensville Road to the Aquatic Critter.

Cindy had been collecting information from all of her fish afficianado friends for the past 3 or 4 weeks and was an informed customer. We went straight to the Bettas and Jonas picked out one on each row. Finally he settled on one (I think because it was closest to the floor and easy for him to point to). We got the fish in the bag and went out to the van. He was so very excited. He picked out a name--Jonas. I said, are you sure? What about something more exotic, like Phillipe? He said yes, Phillipe. Then 5 minutes later it was back to Jonas. Cindy then told us all about how Bettas are Asian and live in rice patties and jump from one patty to another, etc. I was quite impressed with her knowledge (you know me, I am a trivia nerd). We got home and unpacked the little tank and she took charge. I washed the tank out (no soap, just several rinses). Then I had to rinse the little gravels. Well my dumb self tries to do that a little at a time in my hand. This of course led to several gravels going into the food disposal (nice and noisy later). She gave me a nice little strainer to finish the job (it worked much better). So at this point we have the little plastic plant and all the purple gravels in the little tank. She says the water has to be between 70 and 80 degrees. So I turn on the hot, and try to make it perfect. She gets the meat thermometer and holds it in the stream (I of course think about pregnancy tests, don't know why). We get the water to a perfect 80 degrees and fill the tank about 3/4 of the way up. We add some kind of almond oil extract conditioner stuff and I go to pour the fish in. She stops me and says that EVERYONE said not to mix the water the fish is in currently with the new water in the tank. I asked why. She said she didn't know but that EVERYONE said so. I say ok, whatever. So we proceed to pour water out of the fish bag a little at a time. I realize that there won't be enough water in the tank so I propose filling the tank the rest of the way. We do that, again, with perfec 80 degree water. Then she goes back to pouring out water a little at a time. The bag is really long so she wants to cut part of the bag off (like when the bag of chips gets low and you cut the top half off so you don't get your arms all nasty reaching in). She does this and goes back to pouring--slowly. I jokingly say, "don't put Jonas down the garbage disposal." She says, "don't worry." No more than 15 seconds later, PLOP. Jonas goes into the garbage disposal. We both freeze for like 3 seconds in utter panic. Jonas (the human) was in the living room (thankfully). I say, what are we going to do!?!?! Meanwhile, Cindy already has her hand in the disposal. She is freaking out and gets ahold of the fish. It slips out of her hand and she gets him again. Finally she pulls him out and plops him into the tank. By this time I am ROLLING with laughter. She of course does not find it funny at all. The fish just kind of hangs there in the water with his little side fins moving very rapidly. I just knew she had broken him. We take the tank into Jonas' room and watch him for like 30 minutes critiquing his every move (waiting for him to start floating, really). I start talking about how much I need to share this story and she bans me from speaking about it. Finally, she relents and says that if the fish lives a few days, I can share the story. Well, Jonas the fish is alive and kicking and I get to share this story. I hope you enjoyed it.

This is Jonas the Fish