The Lie: Marriage and Family is Not Terribly Valuable

SOOO much pop culture attacks the traditional family. Songs decry living at home and celebrate dysfunction. Modern sitcoms celebrate philandering and the lack of stable relationships. I can't think of one show that I have seen in the past 4-5 years that portrays a traditional nuclear family with a man and woman that have been married to each other only and have children that are biologically both of theirs. I do understand that this "Leave it to Beaver" family is quickly dying and being replaced with steps and halves and other arrangements. TV merely reflects the society to which it is selling. I wonder, though, if the cause and effect is the other way around. How much of the erosion of the family is because of the media?
Before you get bent out of shape, I am NOT saying that the non-traditional family is wrong. I am simply saying that 50 years ago, the traditional family was a man and woman getting married to each other for the first time and staying together and having some kids. Thats how it became the "traditional family". I do see value in this situation. I do think that if it is possible, it is healthier and definitely simpler to have the "traditional family." I know it cuts down on drama!

My question is, why do people stray from, destroy, mess up, choose otherwise from the tradition? One possible answer is that they see the traditional family life as boring and unfulfilling--they are told by society, media, etc. that there is more--more excitement, more "life to live", more partners to have, more places to go, etc. than a traditional family can afford you. This is a lie.

I also know there is an all out assault on anything that even resembles a "normal" family in the media. Shows like Seinfeld, How I Met Your Mother, Friends and Two and a Half Men glorify the single, philandering life and even put down the family life.  These characters are viewed daily as having such a cool life with a new conquest every episode and all manner of dysfunction. Teenagers see these and long for the same. There is no balance in the media either. Even the shows that have two parents frequently make the male character into a doofus. There are virtually no male "father" characters in shows that are intelligent, strong and good fathers. Why? Why do we allow this? Why do we support this? Why is this entertaining?

I don't have the answer. I just have some suggestions.

1. Value the family yourself. It is noble, fulfilling and even fun
2. Value the moments your family gives you. I am guilty here. I get wrapped up in work and ignore my family from time to time. I do this with the excuse that I am earning a living for them. Its just an excuse. Jonas will only be 5 for 365 days. I need to treasure those days. 
3. This one is hard. TRY to choose your mate wisely. DON'T select them based on superficial things. Really consider that person as your partner for the REST of your life.
4. WORK on your relationship. There is no such thing as a fairytale relationship that magically happens one day and is happily ever after for all of eternity with no real effort. If you think you are the exception to the above statement, you are wrong. ALL marriages, ALL relationships need effort and willingness to work together on the problems that arise. If your partner disagrees, you should not choose that person. No life time successful marriage "just happens." They all require maintenance.
5. If you do choose poorly and you know it, don't have kids with that person!

Seriously, put value on stability. Have fun with your family. Show your kids that the family life is good. Reject the idea that marriage is casual and fluid. Build marriages that last forever and teach your kids that those relationsips are precious and good and worth the effort. If you find yourself in a "non-traditional" situation, still teach your kids that marriage is good and should be one time in your life with one person. Be open about the mistakes that led to your situation (when appropriate, of course). Finally, men, be strong, loving fathers. Don't be the doofi (Latin plural for doofus) that the media portrays and most importantly, BE PRESENT.

I know this blog has potential to stir up some conversation. I welcome that. Please do recognize that I speak in generalities and I know that every single situation is unique. I am not pointing fingers, I am just sharing my ideals.

A little out of the ordinary for me

Ok, those of you that know me, know that I am generally a pretty happy-go-lucky kind of guy. You also know that if I am passionate about something, you will most likely hear about it. When I get some fantastic service or find a fantastic product, I am a great spokesperson for it. Generally, when I get bad service or a bad product, I keep it to myself unless it is just horrendous. That is the case here.

Most of you know that Cindy and I both struggle with weight issues. We don't eat the best and don't exercise enough (makes us normal, right). Well, we are always looking to improve this. Cindy's favorite way to exercise is in classes, like Yoga, Pilates, Cardio Kickboxing, etc. Well, back in July, Stephanie told us about the great new gym that opened right down from our house. They were offering cardio kickboxing and were going to expand their offerings in the very near future. I was out of town so Cindy went and checked it out. She liked the owner a lot and the owner told her the same spiel about expanding class offerings. Cindy signed the contract. She attended a few classes (which were at odd times, like 2PMon Tuesdays and 10 AM on Saturdays or something like that). Then, abruptly in September, they quit offering the classes altogether due to "lack of interest". Cindy quit going to the gym because that was the whole reason she went. I kept going (though somewhat sporadically) because I used the (very old and decrepit) elliptical machine. December rolls around and we realize that it is stupid to pay $50 per month for a service we don't use enough because they don't offer the same product we signed up for. (Here is our first mistake) So we asked them to release us from the contract and offered a settlement. They said no. We wrote them a letter telling them we could not afford it anymore. What we should have said is that we did not want to pay for a service there that they did not offer and still have to pay for it elsewhere. They again said no. I did some research into the consumer Protection Act and found that:

"47-18-303. Unenforceable health club agreements. — A health club agreement shall be unenforceable against the buyer, and the buyer shall be entitled to a refund less that portion of the total price which represents actual use of the facilities and less the cost of goods and services consumed by the buyer if:
(1) The buyer entered into the agreement in reliance upon any false, deceptive, or misleading information, representation, notice, or advertisement;

At this point, I contacted the Better Business Bureau and filed a complaint explaining my issue. I also included a link to the gym's website where they advertised "an amazing array of freeweights, training classes...". In addition, I called the gym posing as a prospective member and asked if they offered any classes (this was January 14 or so). The owner said, "no, we had to cancel them due to lack of interest. We will look at having them again in February." I said thanks. So the owner's response to my BBB complaint was that they did offer classes. I went in today and saw that they offer one class, Endurance Boot Camp, 3 times a week. Wednesday during church time, Saturday 10AM (the only doable time for us) and Sunday at 2 while I am at Play practice and they don't offer childcare. I re-submitted all this info and am now waiting on the next response. I don't think I am being unreasonable. I have offered a settlement and they won't even counter the offer. If I offered too little, they should say, "how about this much instead." My question is, why would they want me to stay there? I will do way more damage spreading bad will about their business. I have purposely not included the name of the business and won't unless the company still does not see how freakin terrible their customer service is. You tell me, am I being unreasonable? Be honest and provide some insight for me.