Hate the sin, love the sinner.
This one is a bit tougher to make my case because at its very core, this is completely scriptural. The problem is that we, as the church, screw it up. We want God to love us, sinners, despite our many failings and abominations. We want God to say, "I cannot love what you are doing, it is detestable in my eyes BUT I still love you, fully and completely." If God says that to us, we should be able to say the same thing to others. But we can't.
By living out this mantra, we put conditions on our love for others. We are not capable of fully loving someone as long as we label them "sinner." Now, before you get your feathers ruffled and say, "I am a sinner too" and you are a sinner and we are all God's children, etc. etc., consider this, if my pet sin was gossip and my best friend's pet sin were pornography, and you knew about both, would you treat us the same? Most people would give me a pass and would treat my friend as "hate the sin, love the sinner." They would keep reminding him over and over that he is a sinner. Make sure he wears that label like a scarlet "A" until he changes (and usually expect him to change on his own).
My point is this, if we live by that code, we put a barrier between us and the other person. We remind them over and over that they are a sinner. We treat them differently. We attach a label to them. It is very difficult for our brains to fully love someone that we have labeled. How about instead of "hate the sin, love the sinner" we just simply go with "love." We are ALL sinners. ALL of our sins are detestable, whether our sin is gossip, pornography, rage, alcoholism, homosexuality, fornication, lying, stealing, murdering or worshipping an idol. All are the same. I know, for a fact, that anyone I talk to is a sinner. So drop that part of the phrase and just say "love." For clarity sake, I'm also not saying we should embrace sin and forget the part about hating sin. We absolutely should hate sin. BUT we should start with hating our OWN sin. If we love others and hate our own sin, then we barely start to earn the right to help others with their sins.
Its ok to rebuke sin. Its ok to help others recognize their sin. Its ok to hate the sin. BUT you have to start with love. Before you ever start calling them out. Before you ever want to "help someone recognize," you have to start with love--and it is love without labels. Love without reminding them of their failings. I will end with some scripture to feed this thought. Jesus loved first, corrected second (most of the time). Check out this scripture and see what I mean:
John 8: 2-11