This one is fun. Most people think that Christianity is all about loving everyone and is nothing but love, love, love. The problem is that we have a completely screwed up view of what it means to love someone. We also, as humans, tend to "average" things together. Basically, I think there are two very big problems with this lie so I am going to go two directions with this one.
Problem Number 1--Christianity is not about loving everyone. Christianity is about earnestly seeking to be more like Christ. We get so caught up in our version of loving everyone that we forget about holiness and seeking God's will. We tend to see "loving everyone" as "accepting everyone" where they are and not seeking or desiring holiness. We also think we can love people without taking into consideration their souls and their salvation. Sometimes love is painful. Sometimes I address an issue with you because I love you. Sometimes (think Jesus with the moneychangers in the temple) love is angry. The point is, love is an outcropping from holiness. If we seek holiness and seek to be more like Christ, all the other stuff we try to manufacture and re-create within Christianity will follow.
Problem Number 2--Humans average things together. If I say, "love everyone", then it is easy for you to see "everyone" as a singular person. In other words--that body of people over there is everyone. "Sure I love them all." It is very impersonal. There may, in fact, be someone in that group that you don't really love but all the others "cancel" him out. A tougher challenge is to love each one. Think about that. You can't average that out. I love each one. I love the guy that smells bad, the girl that is super mean, the gossip, the cheat, the thief. Each one of them is deserving of my love--especially once we figure out what holy love looks like.
It is entirely too easy to get caught up in "yeah, sure, I love everyone." God calls us to holiness and to following Jesus example. We are to love each one and to do so in a holy way. That's what Christianity is all about. Buying into this lie is LAZY. Don't be lazy!
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Thursday, April 17, 2014
Thursday, April 10, 2014
But You're Still a Sinner...
Untruth Number 2:
Hate the sin, love the sinner.
This one is a bit tougher to make my case because at its very core, this is completely scriptural. The problem is that we, as the church, screw it up. We want God to love us, sinners, despite our many failings and abominations. We want God to say, "I cannot love what you are doing, it is detestable in my eyes BUT I still love you, fully and completely." If God says that to us, we should be able to say the same thing to others. But we can't.
By living out this mantra, we put conditions on our love for others. We are not capable of fully loving someone as long as we label them "sinner." Now, before you get your feathers ruffled and say, "I am a sinner too" and you are a sinner and we are all God's children, etc. etc., consider this, if my pet sin was gossip and my best friend's pet sin were pornography, and you knew about both, would you treat us the same? Most people would give me a pass and would treat my friend as "hate the sin, love the sinner." They would keep reminding him over and over that he is a sinner. Make sure he wears that label like a scarlet "A" until he changes (and usually expect him to change on his own).
My point is this, if we live by that code, we put a barrier between us and the other person. We remind them over and over that they are a sinner. We treat them differently. We attach a label to them. It is very difficult for our brains to fully love someone that we have labeled. How about instead of "hate the sin, love the sinner" we just simply go with "love." We are ALL sinners. ALL of our sins are detestable, whether our sin is gossip, pornography, rage, alcoholism, homosexuality, fornication, lying, stealing, murdering or worshipping an idol. All are the same. I know, for a fact, that anyone I talk to is a sinner. So drop that part of the phrase and just say "love." For clarity sake, I'm also not saying we should embrace sin and forget the part about hating sin. We absolutely should hate sin. BUT we should start with hating our OWN sin. If we love others and hate our own sin, then we barely start to earn the right to help others with their sins.
Its ok to rebuke sin. Its ok to help others recognize their sin. Its ok to hate the sin. BUT you have to start with love. Before you ever start calling them out. Before you ever want to "help someone recognize," you have to start with love--and it is love without labels. Love without reminding them of their failings. I will end with some scripture to feed this thought. Jesus loved first, corrected second (most of the time). Check out this scripture and see what I mean:
John 8: 2-11
Hate the sin, love the sinner.
This one is a bit tougher to make my case because at its very core, this is completely scriptural. The problem is that we, as the church, screw it up. We want God to love us, sinners, despite our many failings and abominations. We want God to say, "I cannot love what you are doing, it is detestable in my eyes BUT I still love you, fully and completely." If God says that to us, we should be able to say the same thing to others. But we can't.
By living out this mantra, we put conditions on our love for others. We are not capable of fully loving someone as long as we label them "sinner." Now, before you get your feathers ruffled and say, "I am a sinner too" and you are a sinner and we are all God's children, etc. etc., consider this, if my pet sin was gossip and my best friend's pet sin were pornography, and you knew about both, would you treat us the same? Most people would give me a pass and would treat my friend as "hate the sin, love the sinner." They would keep reminding him over and over that he is a sinner. Make sure he wears that label like a scarlet "A" until he changes (and usually expect him to change on his own).
My point is this, if we live by that code, we put a barrier between us and the other person. We remind them over and over that they are a sinner. We treat them differently. We attach a label to them. It is very difficult for our brains to fully love someone that we have labeled. How about instead of "hate the sin, love the sinner" we just simply go with "love." We are ALL sinners. ALL of our sins are detestable, whether our sin is gossip, pornography, rage, alcoholism, homosexuality, fornication, lying, stealing, murdering or worshipping an idol. All are the same. I know, for a fact, that anyone I talk to is a sinner. So drop that part of the phrase and just say "love." For clarity sake, I'm also not saying we should embrace sin and forget the part about hating sin. We absolutely should hate sin. BUT we should start with hating our OWN sin. If we love others and hate our own sin, then we barely start to earn the right to help others with their sins.
Its ok to rebuke sin. Its ok to help others recognize their sin. Its ok to hate the sin. BUT you have to start with love. Before you ever start calling them out. Before you ever want to "help someone recognize," you have to start with love--and it is love without labels. Love without reminding them of their failings. I will end with some scripture to feed this thought. Jesus loved first, corrected second (most of the time). Check out this scripture and see what I mean:
John 8: 2-11
2 At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. 3 The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group 4 and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5 In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” 6 They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.
But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7 When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
9 At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10 Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
11 “No one, sir,” she said.
“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”
He loved her first. He saved her life. He forgave her completely. Only after all that did he rebuke her. And he even did that very gently. We are not called to remind people constantly of the sin in their lives--that's Jesus' job. He is the mirror we all look into and see how filthy and corrupt we are. We are called to love others and help others and show the love of Christ. We are called simply to love without labels.
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Why I Love My Children
Going in a COMPLETELY different direction today because I feel like writing something that will make me feel good.
I have two kids. Jonas is 6 and Maggie is 17 months old. You may not be aware of this but my kids are the smartest kids on the planet. Sorry if you thought yours are, you are wrong. How do I know this? Because they are my kids, of course.
Jonas is a reading machine. He is in Kindergarten and is reading Magic Treehouse chapter books. He loves it. He is also so insightful. He recognizes when people are sad, angry, etc. by their body language--they don't even have to speak. I can't do that half the time!
Maggie is a spitfire. She is into everything. She is also talking in two word sentences and understands WAY more than I think she should. She has even used the potty a time or two. Told you, smartest kids ever.
That is not why I love them so much. I am proud of them for that kind of stuff but I don't love them because of it. I love them because they are my kids. I love them because God placed me in a position of responsibility for their EVERYTHING right now. I am responsible for their physical well being, emotional well being, spiritual well being and mental well being. I am responsible for their growth as individuals, as members of the church and as members of our society. I am responsible for teaching them about giving--both of time and money. I am responsible for showing both of them how to have a healthy marriage. I am responsible for demonstrating to them God's love for his church, for people and for them as his children. That's a lot of responsibility! I cannot adequately put into words how that responsibility translates to love, but it does--and it's pretty cool.
The responsibility seems overwhelming but it is not without reward. My kids return that love 10000 fold. They love me no matter what. When I pick them up from daycare, they both come running and grab onto me like they haven't seen me in weeks. When they hurt--no matter how "independent" they want to be, they come to me or Cindy. They trust us unconditionally. I cannot do wrong in their eyes. I am my son's hero right now. He tells me how awesome I am. I tell him how awesome he is. It's pretty awesome.
I write all this as an encouragement. Fathers, love your kids. Acknowledge them, value them, build them up. The rewards for taking care of your responsibility here are boundless. Show them how to be the best possible version of themselves by striving to be the best possible version of yourself. They learn the MOST by observing and mimicking you. Make it count.
I have two kids. Jonas is 6 and Maggie is 17 months old. You may not be aware of this but my kids are the smartest kids on the planet. Sorry if you thought yours are, you are wrong. How do I know this? Because they are my kids, of course.
Jonas is a reading machine. He is in Kindergarten and is reading Magic Treehouse chapter books. He loves it. He is also so insightful. He recognizes when people are sad, angry, etc. by their body language--they don't even have to speak. I can't do that half the time!
Maggie is a spitfire. She is into everything. She is also talking in two word sentences and understands WAY more than I think she should. She has even used the potty a time or two. Told you, smartest kids ever.
That is not why I love them so much. I am proud of them for that kind of stuff but I don't love them because of it. I love them because they are my kids. I love them because God placed me in a position of responsibility for their EVERYTHING right now. I am responsible for their physical well being, emotional well being, spiritual well being and mental well being. I am responsible for their growth as individuals, as members of the church and as members of our society. I am responsible for teaching them about giving--both of time and money. I am responsible for showing both of them how to have a healthy marriage. I am responsible for demonstrating to them God's love for his church, for people and for them as his children. That's a lot of responsibility! I cannot adequately put into words how that responsibility translates to love, but it does--and it's pretty cool.
The responsibility seems overwhelming but it is not without reward. My kids return that love 10000 fold. They love me no matter what. When I pick them up from daycare, they both come running and grab onto me like they haven't seen me in weeks. When they hurt--no matter how "independent" they want to be, they come to me or Cindy. They trust us unconditionally. I cannot do wrong in their eyes. I am my son's hero right now. He tells me how awesome I am. I tell him how awesome he is. It's pretty awesome.
I write all this as an encouragement. Fathers, love your kids. Acknowledge them, value them, build them up. The rewards for taking care of your responsibility here are boundless. Show them how to be the best possible version of themselves by striving to be the best possible version of yourself. They learn the MOST by observing and mimicking you. Make it count.
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Near Death Experience
Yesterday I had a near death experience. I was driving on a back country road at about 50 mph when a lady in a full size Chevy pickup comes barrelling around a corner at well over 60 mph. She was fully in my lane. I laid on the horn and swerved hard to the left. She swerved to the left and ran into a ditch. I watched her through the rearview mirror and saw that she nearly flipped at least twice. I stopped, backed up and ran to check on her. She had already exited her vehicle and was running around frantic in the middle of the road. I could smell the alcohol when I got within about 10 feet of her. I was pretty mad at this point. Anyway, the cops came and all that.
After the event was over, the adrenaline subsided and I started thinking about things. What was the last thing I said to my wife, my son, my neighbor? How would those close to me remember me? How would those NOT so close to me remember me? Would they remember me? Do I care if they remember me? Did I do enough to ensure that my son knew for the rest of his life that I loved him? I don't think we fully appreciate how close we are to death at any given moment.
We go to bed, wake up, live a mediocre existence--wash, rinse, repeat. How do I stop that cycle? What am I doing to make my life extraordinary? What am I doing to make someone else's life extraordinary? Can I make life extraordinary without spending a ton of money or travelling to exotic locales?
I wrote a Facebook post the other day about a crossing guard at my son's school. She lives an extraordinary life as a crossing guard. EVERY morning she helps kids get to school and parents get away from school without anyone getting injured. No matter the weather, she has a smile on her face--a real smile--a really big smile. She does her job well and she waves back if you wave to her. If you wave to her, her smile gets even bigger. That is someone living a normal life but making it extraordinary. You can't help it, her smile is infectious and for just a few moments, your life is better because of her.
So again, are you living an extraordinary life? It has nothing to do with circumstances but everything to do with outlook, attitude and choice. You decide if you want to be extraordinary. You decide if you want to make someone else's life better. You decide to make every moment count for something. You decide how others will remember you.
After the event was over, the adrenaline subsided and I started thinking about things. What was the last thing I said to my wife, my son, my neighbor? How would those close to me remember me? How would those NOT so close to me remember me? Would they remember me? Do I care if they remember me? Did I do enough to ensure that my son knew for the rest of his life that I loved him? I don't think we fully appreciate how close we are to death at any given moment.
We go to bed, wake up, live a mediocre existence--wash, rinse, repeat. How do I stop that cycle? What am I doing to make my life extraordinary? What am I doing to make someone else's life extraordinary? Can I make life extraordinary without spending a ton of money or travelling to exotic locales?
I wrote a Facebook post the other day about a crossing guard at my son's school. She lives an extraordinary life as a crossing guard. EVERY morning she helps kids get to school and parents get away from school without anyone getting injured. No matter the weather, she has a smile on her face--a real smile--a really big smile. She does her job well and she waves back if you wave to her. If you wave to her, her smile gets even bigger. That is someone living a normal life but making it extraordinary. You can't help it, her smile is infectious and for just a few moments, your life is better because of her.
So again, are you living an extraordinary life? It has nothing to do with circumstances but everything to do with outlook, attitude and choice. You decide if you want to be extraordinary. You decide if you want to make someone else's life better. You decide to make every moment count for something. You decide how others will remember you.
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