Why You SHOULD Care What Other People Think About You

So this is the antithesis of everything American. We are a people of individuality and of live and let live and of "mind your own business". No doubt about it, our society inundates us from day 1 to not give a you know what about what others think about us. Its my life and I will do what I want as long as it doesn't hurt others. Even if it does hurt others, as long as its not criminal. Even if its criminal, sometimes its ok as long as you don't get caught. I don't care what you think about me, you don't care what I think about you and thats how it should be. That is the social programming of our great nation.

While there is some merit to this thought process, it is important to understand the Biblical perspective on this topic. As Christians, we are supposed to care about what others think about us. Romans 12: 17-18 says, 17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. We should care how people see us. Our reputations are important. We are supposed to be the manifestations of God's love and spirit on Earth. I'm not saying we should be perfect but we should be aware of how our actions help or hurt the process of furthering the Kingdom. When we sin, we not only hurt our own relationship with God, we also hurt our witness with other people. 

The one area where this "lie" is not a total lie is when it comes to sharing God's love. When we are doing Kingdom work, we should not care at that time if someone judges us to be zealous, "holy" (in a negative context), stupid or mislead. We shouldn't care about judgement like that but even then we should be aware of what people think. We should be respectful and humble, not boastful about it. We should be caring and loving instead of forceful and pushy. We should take care of the people first, before we try to evangelize. We should evangelize gently and not try to "thump" people. Remember that our role in conversion may be very, very, very small. 

Bottom line is this, the Bible tells us to be aware of what other people think of us and to try to maintain good standing with everyone we meet. The notion of "individuality over all" and not caring one bit about what someone thinks about you is not scriptural. I don't know that we have to worry about people liking us but we do have to worry about reputation and how our actions affect our ability to carry out the Great Commission. My 2 cents. What do you think?

Signs, Churches and Rapport

What's in a name? Most of us would like to say we don't put much stock in a name. That is the cool way to be--we are able to look past a word and be open minded about things. Is this really true though? I don't think it is. I think we all get caught up in names and labels. I think we especially do it when it comes to churches. I attend Smyrna Church of Christ. One reason I attend there is because, for the most part, I agree with the views and interpretations of the Bible that are taught by the majority of other folks that attend there. The main reason, however, that I attend this church is because of the relationships I've developed over the years that I've attended. I have friends, trusted advisers, mentors, mentees, etc. that know me, love me and accept me as I am. That's a good feeling. I also have a place that I can work and have people work along side me to make others' lives better. That's also a good feeling. At this point, I would not care what name they put on the sign because I know the substance of the people inside the building.

Is that true for others as they relate to my church? I have spoken to many people who have a negative opinion of "churches of Christ" because of some bad experience they had with someone who "represented" to them ALL churches of Christ. Its the cliche "one bad apple spoils the bunch." On the flip side, if I were in a strange place looking for a church, I would probably look for another church of Christ. The likelihood that I would go to a Catholic church or a Presbyterian church is extremely small. My question is why? Why would I choose to miss out on very likely great people just because the sign at the door doesn't have the exact words I am looking for? Does that make me closed minded?

I don't know if it is closed mindedness or just an innate tendency to flock to "like minded individuals". We constantly look for clues, any clues to tell us that someone is like us. We train ourselves to search for similarities when we are trying to build rapport with someone. What if we didn't do that? What if we looked for differences in people and built rapport by asking them to tell us about themselves? We built rapport by listening and learning about people that were different from ourselves.

I know this sounds cool and I know that the majority of people, including me, will not do this. I guess I am just feeling a bit philosophical right now. Maybe there are small ways we can start making this into a character quality. What do you think? Offer some advice on how we can bond with people over differences instead of just similarities. If you think I am completely wrong, tell me that too.

Life

It's a little surreal seeing pictures of the boardwalk in Atlantic City. I was literally JUST on it not even 2 weeks ago and now it is basically gone. Too bad too, it was pretty cool. Storms never cease to amaze me and terrify me. So much power.

My friends Chris and Manika Logue are going through a rough time right now. Their son Ryan is in the hospital. Ryan is such a cool guy. He has muscular dystrophy but is absolutely not held back by it. He is in a wheelchair and is visibly affected by this disease but his spirit, his mind and his resolve are so strong, so incredibly strong that it is hard to even consider him handicapped. He is a model for the rest of us to follow and I am truly blessed to be even a small part of his life. For the last several days, he has been fighting for his life. He is at Vandy Kid's Hospital (unfortunately he has spent a lot of time there in his short life) and is with some of the best docs in existence. Just yesterday he started showing some really strong signs of improvement. All we can say is praise God and Lord keep helping him improve. Meanwhile, his baby sister also got sick and had to spend time at Vandy. When it rains, it pours, eh Chris and Manika! You know, for a lot of folks, kids like Ryan remind them how blessed they are to be healthy. I look at Ryan in a different way, I am blessed to know people like Ryan. He reminds me just how tough human beings can be. He gives me hope that when I am faced with something terrible, I can dig in and find the strength to fight it. We love you guys so much and admire your strength and courage. I only wish there was a way we could help.

Tonight is Trunk or Treat at church. We are dressing as the Smores family again only this time we are also cooking smores. So we are cannibal smores--ooooohhhhhh scary.

I've hit a small lull in business over the past week or so. I had 13 contracts pending at one point. I am down to 6 right now with another on the way (hopefully).

Weichert Realtors, The Andrews Group will be hosting a trivia night fundraiser for St. Jude's in the next few months. I am emceeing the event and will also be creating the questions. It will be a BLAST and we would love to have you. More details soon.

I will leave you with this discussion: In 6 days we elect the man (in this case) that will be president for the next 4 years. Regardless of who wins, what can you do, personally, to make this country better?

Conventional Wisdom

I have been leading a series of discussions on Wednesday nights with the college kids about "conventional wisdom" type sayings and their validity. Specifically we have been looking at those sayings through the lens of scripture and seeing if they are fact or crap. It has been some good discussion of late.

Our topics have included:
"God will never give you more than you can handle"
"Everything happens for a reason"
"He's in a better place now" (after someone dies)

The main point of doing these discussions is to get the college students to challenge "conventional wisdom". Sometimes that which is commonly accepted is a bigger pile of manure than we might think. In other words, just because "everyone" believes it, doesn't make it true.

If you are a Christian, I challenge you to do a little digging into these commonly accepted tenets. You might be surprised at how easy it is to provide a valid challenge to them.

If you are not a Christian and someone delivers one of these "wise" sayings to you, I ask you to be polite and thank them for the encouragement. Often people say things like these because there is nothing else to say. They feel that it would be rude to say nothing, so they fall back on "conventional wisdom" that seems to be profound.

Whether you are a Christian or not, I ask you to consider the words you say to people when THEY are in crisis. What you think could be profound may actually prove to be an annoyance or possibly even offensive (think about "he's in a better place"--a spouse passes away unexpectedly, wasn't sick or anything, maybe a car crash, does the surviving spouse really think that the dead spouse is in a better place than right there with his or her family watching their kids grow up--doubt it).

Hope all is well for you. Would love to hear your thoughts on these sayings and any others that I could maybe use for my class.

Religion

I've always enjoyed a good religious discussion. I find religion to be fascinating. How do people get so incredibly zealous about something they can't see? How do people get to the point where they are willing to kill others or themselves over something they can't empirically prove?  How can people so emphatically deny that there is a being larger than us and insist that humans are the pinnacle of existence? How can GOD evoke such strong reactions whenever he is mentioned in discussion? It truly is fascinating.

I am a Christian. I do believe that God created the Earth and all its contents. I also believe that Jesus was born to a virgin and was sinless. I believe he performed all the miracles (and many more) that are chronicled in the Bible. I believe he was hated then (as he is hated now) by people that refuse his love. I believe he was crucified and was buried only to arise from the dead 3 days later. I believe he was God in the flesh and that he provides atonement for the sins I commit.

All that said, I respect other religions. I respect that they are just as adamant in their convictions as I am. I still disagree with them but I respect them. Where I get tripped up is how to make them all work in the same world. If I am having a discussion with a devout Muslim, we will have a few things that we can agree on and a whole bunch we disagree on. How do we reconcile those differences? Do we need to reconcile those differences or can we coexist with no problem? I don't know the answer to that question. I know the task I am charged with--Go out into the world and make believers or all men. I believe this is an important task and one I should do with gusto. So do other devotees of other religions.

I guess the point of this blog is to open up dialogue about this topic. I struggle with this part of religion. I know some of my friends will say something to the effect of, "well, that is why I don't believe in God" and "the zealots are who drove me out of organized religion". I get that. I really do. I don't think you have to be obnoxious to get your idea across. I think my mission is to present a great example of Christ's love and give the raw materials for someone to form their own faith while providing the instructions if they want them. Any respectful conversation is welcome.

Catching My Breath!!

Wow!! It has been a flippin busy past few...uhh...however long.

In the past 2 weeks I got an offer and negotiated a contract on Sam and Candace's house. We should close mid-March. It was (is) an interesting transaction to say the least. We have parties involved that live in Boston, travel to Japan and are buying in Christiana. Quite a mix!! I picked up a listing in East Nashville, got an offer on it and am in the process of negotiating it. I picked up a listing in my neighborhood and have a coming soon sign in that yard. I am taking a new buyer out tomorrow and will hopefully find him a home quickly. All this and I am studying hard for a role in a play (more details in a minute), co-teaching a class at church, playing Mr. Mom, and have been working hard to win the Biggest Loser contest at work (which I did win, by the way--go me).

The Play--So, I am in this play, right. I have never acted (except acting up as a youth, I don't act up any more--see my halo?). I always wanted to but never took the time to work on it. I am in a group called Consider This Productions. It is quite a fun group. Barry Hardy is the "leader" of the group (when we let him). We are currently rehearsing "The Curious Savage." I play Titus Savage, Senator Titus Savage. Sherry Gastineau is my sister--Lily Belle Savage and Sam Channel is my brother, Samuel Savage. The three of us are real snots. We have our mother (Kim Chunn playing Ethel Savage) committed. Not that Kim shouldn't be committed, but we don't do it for the right reasons (when there are so many reasons to pick from!). Daniel Chunn, Nathan Chunn, Vanessa Maleare (sorry, I probably spelled that wrong), Nancy Wells, and Hannah Gastineau are all crazy people in the play (and outside the play). Danny Wells is the good doctor and Jessica Wells is the nurse that keeps things running. My character is a real blowhard. I yell and get angry a lot and really don't have a ton of substance to me. It will be very easy for the audience to dislike me. It will be even easier to dislike Sherry. Her character is a cross between Cruella Deville, Ms. Hannigan from Annie and Carol Burnette. Sam is just a limp noodle. We will be performing on March 11, 12, 13 and 18, 19, 20 (Thursdays through Saturdays) on the 15th floor of the NHC building in Murfreesboro (the lone skyscraper in the 'boro). I am really excited. Last night Barry complimented us on our facial expressions. Given the intimacy of this venue (the audience will be within about 2 feet of the actors), we will really be able to convey emotions and expressions. It should be awesome. I just hope I don't screw it up for everyone else!!

At church I am going through a survey of world religions. This past Sunday we looked at Bahai Faith. What an interesting religion! Basically, they believe that the God represented in the various major religions of the world is the same God and that all the various prophets (Abraham, Moses, Jesus, Mohammed, Buddha, etc.) are messengers from God and that the individual messages are revelations that get increasingly more sophisticated in order to reveal more about God each time. I don't agree with them, but I do find it quite a fascinating take on things. What do you think?

Oh yeah, and there have been the headaches, car repair place stealing my cable, getting in trouble at the post office, the stupid gym, and some others--but who likes to dwell on bads stuff when God is so good?