What's in a name? Most of us would like to say we don't put much stock in a name. That is the cool way to be--we are able to look past a word and be open minded about things. Is this really true though? I don't think it is. I think we all get caught up in names and labels. I think we especially do it when it comes to churches. I attend Smyrna Church of Christ. One reason I attend there is because, for the most part, I agree with the views and interpretations of the Bible that are taught by the majority of other folks that attend there. The main reason, however, that I attend this church is because of the relationships I've developed over the years that I've attended. I have friends, trusted advisers, mentors, mentees, etc. that know me, love me and accept me as I am. That's a good feeling. I also have a place that I can work and have people work along side me to make others' lives better. That's also a good feeling. At this point, I would not care what name they put on the sign because I know the substance of the people inside the building.
Is that true for others as they relate to my church? I have spoken to many people who have a negative opinion of "churches of Christ" because of some bad experience they had with someone who "represented" to them ALL churches of Christ. Its the cliche "one bad apple spoils the bunch." On the flip side, if I were in a strange place looking for a church, I would probably look for another church of Christ. The likelihood that I would go to a Catholic church or a Presbyterian church is extremely small. My question is why? Why would I choose to miss out on very likely great people just because the sign at the door doesn't have the exact words I am looking for? Does that make me closed minded?
I don't know if it is closed mindedness or just an innate tendency to flock to "like minded individuals". We constantly look for clues, any clues to tell us that someone is like us. We train ourselves to search for similarities when we are trying to build rapport with someone. What if we didn't do that? What if we looked for differences in people and built rapport by asking them to tell us about themselves? We built rapport by listening and learning about people that were different from ourselves.
I know this sounds cool and I know that the majority of people, including me, will not do this. I guess I am just feeling a bit philosophical right now. Maybe there are small ways we can start making this into a character quality. What do you think? Offer some advice on how we can bond with people over differences instead of just similarities. If you think I am completely wrong, tell me that too.
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Self Employment Fact or Fiction
There is a lot of "common knowledge" things out there about being self-employed. A whole lot of them are absolutely false. I would like to spend a bit of time affirming some and debunking some others.
1) Self employed means you "set your own hours." I could maybe see this for some professions and for some people within those professions. I, however, have NOT found this to be true. Granted, I can schedule stuff whenever I want but I certainly don't set my own hours. I work when my clients want me to work and then some more after that. In my job, I am typically working when others are not. My busiest time of day is lunch and after "work". I know plenty of other people that are self-employed in other lines of work and guess what, they work when there is work to do, not "when they want to."
2) Being self employed means you keep more of what you actually earn. I see the logic in this--you work hard, you bring in the money and you don't have to split it with the employer. You do, however have to split it--a lot of it--with your favorite Uncle. It is surreal the first time you pay in a quarterly tax estimate and you realize just how much goes to the guvment. You never really realize it when you never actually touch it to begin with (i.e. automatically drawn from your paycheck).
3) Being self employed is more risky than a "real job." I love this myth. I had a real job--a real job that allegedly had job security. I got fired. I can't get fired from this job. I could quit. I could get fired by individual clients but I would still have my "job." My job security depends 100% on how well I do it. If I do well, I will never again be unemployed. As long as I do well, I will never have to ask for a raise or promotion. There is real job security in being self employed if you do it well. It's more than self employed, its self sufficient.
4) You are on your own when you are self employed. This could be true but not if you are smart. Almost every profession in the world has some kind of trade association. You would do yourself a huge favor to join that. You would also do yourself a favor to join a networking group of some kind. It can get lonely and kind of depressing to not have at least someone to bounce ideas off of. Surround yourself with good people. People that care about your success, care about you. Get an employee, a good accountant, a networking group or someone that could be your sounding board.
5) You have to have money to start a business or only people that are already rich get to start businesses. Not true. You can definitely do it. You just might have to get creative as to how you start it, how big you are at the beginning, etc. You might not enter the retail store world by opening your first store the size of a super Walmart or something. Start smaller. Stick to something you already know and perhaps you are already doing as a hobby and grow it.
These are just a few. What kinds of things do you believe about being self employed? What have you heard? What are some things you want to know about it? Are you interested in starting a business? Do you dream about being your own boss but don't know how to make the leap?
1) Self employed means you "set your own hours." I could maybe see this for some professions and for some people within those professions. I, however, have NOT found this to be true. Granted, I can schedule stuff whenever I want but I certainly don't set my own hours. I work when my clients want me to work and then some more after that. In my job, I am typically working when others are not. My busiest time of day is lunch and after "work". I know plenty of other people that are self-employed in other lines of work and guess what, they work when there is work to do, not "when they want to."
2) Being self employed means you keep more of what you actually earn. I see the logic in this--you work hard, you bring in the money and you don't have to split it with the employer. You do, however have to split it--a lot of it--with your favorite Uncle. It is surreal the first time you pay in a quarterly tax estimate and you realize just how much goes to the guvment. You never really realize it when you never actually touch it to begin with (i.e. automatically drawn from your paycheck).
3) Being self employed is more risky than a "real job." I love this myth. I had a real job--a real job that allegedly had job security. I got fired. I can't get fired from this job. I could quit. I could get fired by individual clients but I would still have my "job." My job security depends 100% on how well I do it. If I do well, I will never again be unemployed. As long as I do well, I will never have to ask for a raise or promotion. There is real job security in being self employed if you do it well. It's more than self employed, its self sufficient.
4) You are on your own when you are self employed. This could be true but not if you are smart. Almost every profession in the world has some kind of trade association. You would do yourself a huge favor to join that. You would also do yourself a favor to join a networking group of some kind. It can get lonely and kind of depressing to not have at least someone to bounce ideas off of. Surround yourself with good people. People that care about your success, care about you. Get an employee, a good accountant, a networking group or someone that could be your sounding board.
5) You have to have money to start a business or only people that are already rich get to start businesses. Not true. You can definitely do it. You just might have to get creative as to how you start it, how big you are at the beginning, etc. You might not enter the retail store world by opening your first store the size of a super Walmart or something. Start smaller. Stick to something you already know and perhaps you are already doing as a hobby and grow it.
These are just a few. What kinds of things do you believe about being self employed? What have you heard? What are some things you want to know about it? Are you interested in starting a business? Do you dream about being your own boss but don't know how to make the leap?
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Luck
I watched an interesting video last night called "The Secret". Basically, it proposed that by simply focusing your thoughts on wanting things you can influence them happening to you. In other words, if I want something enough, I will get it. It got me thinking about the idea of luck. So many people think luck plays a big role in success. You hear things like, "yeah, he was just at the right place at the right time," or "I have the worst luck in the world."
Do you believe in luck? I don't. I think you make your own. That guy that was in the right place at the right time, he was probably there because of a chain of events he set in motion to get there. He studied, made connections, made contacts, paid attention to the right conversations, sought advice from the right people. Perhaps his parents taught him the right skills and introduced him to the right people. Perhaps his parents were plugged into the right groups and he was able to take over for them. None of that is luck.
Luck suggests there is no control, no power behind the event. It is completely random. I believe in self made luck and in divine intervention. I also believe, to some extent, what that video said. We make our own luck, we attract the things we want when we focus on them. Want to get out debt? Focus on how the life you will have once you have no debt. You will naturally, automatically find ways to get rid of that debt. It's the idea of keeping your eyes on the prize. Want to get a high paying job? Instead of focusing on how much you hate your current job, focus on the job you want. You will find yourself being pulled toward it and it toward you. You will automatically do things to get you closer and closer to it. Sounds a little mystical but it is true. The mind is a powerful tool.
What do you think?
Do you believe in luck? I don't. I think you make your own. That guy that was in the right place at the right time, he was probably there because of a chain of events he set in motion to get there. He studied, made connections, made contacts, paid attention to the right conversations, sought advice from the right people. Perhaps his parents taught him the right skills and introduced him to the right people. Perhaps his parents were plugged into the right groups and he was able to take over for them. None of that is luck.
Luck suggests there is no control, no power behind the event. It is completely random. I believe in self made luck and in divine intervention. I also believe, to some extent, what that video said. We make our own luck, we attract the things we want when we focus on them. Want to get out debt? Focus on how the life you will have once you have no debt. You will naturally, automatically find ways to get rid of that debt. It's the idea of keeping your eyes on the prize. Want to get a high paying job? Instead of focusing on how much you hate your current job, focus on the job you want. You will find yourself being pulled toward it and it toward you. You will automatically do things to get you closer and closer to it. Sounds a little mystical but it is true. The mind is a powerful tool.
What do you think?
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Bad Day
I had a bad day yesterday. I had a contract fall through, a listing not come to fruition and another contract hit some pretty major roadblocks (that are still not worked out). That is not the kind of day that gets me excited to be awake in the morning.
Perspective, however is a very powerful tool. My friend Rob has a way of putting things in perspective. He says things like "yeah but you're still breathing and your kids aren't hungry." How true. I could always have a worse day. Thank God for the good stuff before you gripe too much about the bad stuff. Sometimes the bad stuff helps us see how good the good stuff really is. I have 2 healthy children, a wife that loves me, a nice house, working vehicles, a fantastic family, a (mostly) awesome church family and I live in the greatest country in the world (despite its many and obvious flaws). I have the right to feel beat up after a bad day. I have the right to complain about a bad day (you have the right NOT to listen). I don't think I have the right to feel too down about it though because when I gain perspective, I realize I am a very blessed individual.
Perspective, however is a very powerful tool. My friend Rob has a way of putting things in perspective. He says things like "yeah but you're still breathing and your kids aren't hungry." How true. I could always have a worse day. Thank God for the good stuff before you gripe too much about the bad stuff. Sometimes the bad stuff helps us see how good the good stuff really is. I have 2 healthy children, a wife that loves me, a nice house, working vehicles, a fantastic family, a (mostly) awesome church family and I live in the greatest country in the world (despite its many and obvious flaws). I have the right to feel beat up after a bad day. I have the right to complain about a bad day (you have the right NOT to listen). I don't think I have the right to feel too down about it though because when I gain perspective, I realize I am a very blessed individual.
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Setting Expectations
One of the most important things I do in my job is to set realistic expectations. There's nothing worse than having a conversation and accidentally setting an expectation that you cannot meet or exceed. It makes closing a deal very difficult, if not impossible. I find it is better to be completely realistic and set an accurate expectation than it is to say what the other person wants to hear (or, more accurately, what you THINK they want to hear).
Here are some examples of setting wrong expectations and how easy it is to do:
1) prospective seller says to me, "so I hear the market is picking up." I say, "yeah, it is really booming right now. Prices are as much as 25% higher than 3 years ago." That prospect hears, "I can get 25% more than what I paid for this house 3 years ago." This could definitely be an unrealistic expectation. The number I said may be accurate for the market as a whole but not necessarily for his neighborhood. Plus, he could have trashed his house in 3 years but doesn't see that (pigs don't know pigs stink, ya know).
2) Buyer says to me, "Will they take this offer?" I say, "I definitely would if I were in their shoes." Buyer hears, "any normal thinking person would take this offer." Then what if they don't? What if they counter? Automatically the buyer thinks we are dealing with either a jerk or an idiot, both of which could be true but probably are not.
3) I say to my wife, "I only have a little bit of work to do." She hears, "I will be done in 10 minutes and we can go to dinner." An hour later I finish up and she is mad at me for taking too long.
My point is this, words are powerful because they set expectations for your actions. The thing is, people hear your words through a filter that is their own preconceived notion of the discussion topic. Most of the time you are not privy to the past events that set up that filter. Generally the best way to avoid the confusion is to ask more questions and to listen more than you talk. If you do this, you will probably pick up on the filters and set more accurate expectations. This could totally change your business and certainly make your life better. When you figure out some specific methods to do this, let me know and we will write a book together.
Here are some examples of setting wrong expectations and how easy it is to do:
1) prospective seller says to me, "so I hear the market is picking up." I say, "yeah, it is really booming right now. Prices are as much as 25% higher than 3 years ago." That prospect hears, "I can get 25% more than what I paid for this house 3 years ago." This could definitely be an unrealistic expectation. The number I said may be accurate for the market as a whole but not necessarily for his neighborhood. Plus, he could have trashed his house in 3 years but doesn't see that (pigs don't know pigs stink, ya know).
2) Buyer says to me, "Will they take this offer?" I say, "I definitely would if I were in their shoes." Buyer hears, "any normal thinking person would take this offer." Then what if they don't? What if they counter? Automatically the buyer thinks we are dealing with either a jerk or an idiot, both of which could be true but probably are not.
3) I say to my wife, "I only have a little bit of work to do." She hears, "I will be done in 10 minutes and we can go to dinner." An hour later I finish up and she is mad at me for taking too long.
My point is this, words are powerful because they set expectations for your actions. The thing is, people hear your words through a filter that is their own preconceived notion of the discussion topic. Most of the time you are not privy to the past events that set up that filter. Generally the best way to avoid the confusion is to ask more questions and to listen more than you talk. If you do this, you will probably pick up on the filters and set more accurate expectations. This could totally change your business and certainly make your life better. When you figure out some specific methods to do this, let me know and we will write a book together.
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Enough
What is enough? How do we know when we have enough? I guess the answer can vary based on what specifically we are talking about. Enough money, enough time, enough of some specific possession, etc. What do you do when you think you have enough and then meet someone who has more? How do you react to that? Does that suddenly make you feel like your enough isn't really enough? If you are like me, you often don't feel like you have enough. Sometimes I feel like I am in a race of some sort and am always competing. The funny thing is, I don't even know who I am competing with other than myself. I just know that I don't have enough to win the imaginary competition.
One possible answer to this question is that enough can only come from our spiritual life. Paul shares with us a perspective of contentment no matter the circumstances in Philippians 4:11-12:
"...I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."
This is followed by the ever so popular but mostly mis-used "13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength." It's funny that most people use this as a verse of empowerment--I can do anything--almost like a superhero or something--because I have Christ. The truth is, this verse actually says that I can make it through any circumstance because I have Christ. I can be content no matter the circumstance because the only thing I need for contentment is Christ. It is certainly not a license to try power lifting because Christ has given me super muscles.
That's one perspective on "enough". I think that finding contentment means you find what "enough" is. I know there are lots of other perspectives on "enough". I would love to read your ideas. Further, I would really love some pointers on how to quit feeling like I DON'T have enough.
One possible answer to this question is that enough can only come from our spiritual life. Paul shares with us a perspective of contentment no matter the circumstances in Philippians 4:11-12:
"...I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."
This is followed by the ever so popular but mostly mis-used "13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength." It's funny that most people use this as a verse of empowerment--I can do anything--almost like a superhero or something--because I have Christ. The truth is, this verse actually says that I can make it through any circumstance because I have Christ. I can be content no matter the circumstance because the only thing I need for contentment is Christ. It is certainly not a license to try power lifting because Christ has given me super muscles.
That's one perspective on "enough". I think that finding contentment means you find what "enough" is. I know there are lots of other perspectives on "enough". I would love to read your ideas. Further, I would really love some pointers on how to quit feeling like I DON'T have enough.
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Tolerance
I have a question for everyone to discuss. What is tolerance? There are several groups that push their own variety of tolerance. Some push some form of religious tolerance, some push tolerance of some type of behaviour, some push tolerance of various ethnic groups, age bands or political movements. My question though does not look at any specific group but instead at the word itself, what is tolerance?
Does tolerance equate acceptance? If I tolerate a certain behaviour, do I have to accept and legitimize it? Do I have consider that behaviour that does not conform to the "norm" just as "ok" as the "norm"? Or, do I literally just have to put up with it and not persecute? I guess what I mean is, how do I demonstrate tolerance? Moreover, how do I demonstrate tolerance if that particular group's morals, norms, ideals, activities, whatever go directly against my personal set of beliefs? If that is the case, are my beliefs "wrong"? If your answer to that question is yes, are you being intolerant toward me?
Do your answers to those questions change if I talk about tolerating an ethnic group instead of a behaviour group? What if I ask those questions about a political movement? What if the questions are about a new religious movement or even an old religious movement that starts to take off in "your" country?
Again, I am not looking specifically at any current movement--I know the marriage rights camp is in full swing right now. That just has me thinking about the concept of tolerance. More, it has me thinking about human behaviour and our built in tendency to flock to similar people and shun "weird" people (based on our own personal definitions of weird).
For me personally, I tend to believe in the live and let live side of things. I think our government gets WAY too involved in WAY too many aspects of our lives and stirs the pot by sort of picking and choosing the winners in all sorts of arenas. I think our lives would be way simpler if the government got out of 60% of the things it sticks its nose into and just let us live our lives. I think people would naturally evolve into a tolerant culture if there were not divisions placed (socioeconomically, socially, etc.) by our benevolent, omnipotent government.
I am inviting you to share your opinions on this topic. I posed lots of questions. Feel free to pick one or two or reply to the whole thing. The only thing I ask is that you refrain from rudeness. Be respectful and share your thoughts. Others will do the same.
Does tolerance equate acceptance? If I tolerate a certain behaviour, do I have to accept and legitimize it? Do I have consider that behaviour that does not conform to the "norm" just as "ok" as the "norm"? Or, do I literally just have to put up with it and not persecute? I guess what I mean is, how do I demonstrate tolerance? Moreover, how do I demonstrate tolerance if that particular group's morals, norms, ideals, activities, whatever go directly against my personal set of beliefs? If that is the case, are my beliefs "wrong"? If your answer to that question is yes, are you being intolerant toward me?
Do your answers to those questions change if I talk about tolerating an ethnic group instead of a behaviour group? What if I ask those questions about a political movement? What if the questions are about a new religious movement or even an old religious movement that starts to take off in "your" country?
Again, I am not looking specifically at any current movement--I know the marriage rights camp is in full swing right now. That just has me thinking about the concept of tolerance. More, it has me thinking about human behaviour and our built in tendency to flock to similar people and shun "weird" people (based on our own personal definitions of weird).
For me personally, I tend to believe in the live and let live side of things. I think our government gets WAY too involved in WAY too many aspects of our lives and stirs the pot by sort of picking and choosing the winners in all sorts of arenas. I think our lives would be way simpler if the government got out of 60% of the things it sticks its nose into and just let us live our lives. I think people would naturally evolve into a tolerant culture if there were not divisions placed (socioeconomically, socially, etc.) by our benevolent, omnipotent government.
I am inviting you to share your opinions on this topic. I posed lots of questions. Feel free to pick one or two or reply to the whole thing. The only thing I ask is that you refrain from rudeness. Be respectful and share your thoughts. Others will do the same.
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