ONE Answer

People are funny creatures. I say that a lot but it is true. We do things all the time that we know are wrong. This particular blog is about that phenomenon. We are constantly looking for the "right" answer. I know this could go into deep religious discussion but please try to refrain from steering it that way. We don't even have to get that philosophical. Look at politics, marriages, game shows, our obsession with science, etc. Humans constantly bicker over whose answer is "the right one".

Take politics, we are, for all intents and purposes, right now, a two party system. I know there are groups outside those two parties that have tremendous influence and may eventually become major players, but for now, we have two main parties. Both parties point fingers at the other party saying how they are "wrong". The parties insist that they have the answer to fix everything. Neither party can admit that it is possible both could be right, both could be wrong or there is somewhere in between. And it doesn't even matter which particular stump they are standing on!

Looking at marriages, we tend to want to mold our spouse into carbon copies of ourselves on certain issues because we are right and they are wrong. We leave out the possibility that they are right too, just raised differently.

Why do we do this? I think it is because we want verification of our own insecurities. In other words, if I can make you see the light that I was correct and you were wrong, I must, in fact, ACTUALLY be right. I think I am right, but if I win the debate, I have PROVEN I am right and I feel good about myself.  It makes us uncomfortable to think we could be wrong, or worse yet, the other side could be right ALSO.

What do we do? I think the first thing we do is accept that FACT that we can be wrong. We also accept the fact that, just because we were taught something growing up, doesn't make it infallible. This is a hard lesson for folks. We also need to constantly seek the company of people older, wiser and more intelligent than ourselves so that we can stay humble and continue to grow. Don't surround yourself constantly with people just like you!!!

That's all I have today. Go Blue and be nice to each other.

Team Edward/Team Jacob

Humans are funny. We like to "pick sides." We like to be on the winning side--unless there's a compelling underdog. This phenomenon transcends gender, age, generation, ethnicity, race and every other category you can think of. It is obvious in the most trivial things and in the life and death situations. And what's even more crazy, we get REALLY passionate about it. We make t-shirts (team Edward or team Jacob), shed tears, make signs (picture every rally, demonstration, etc.), riot (so many big cities after a major sporting event) and even take up arms. Why do we as humans do this?

I think it feels good to belong to something. It is good to be important and it is great to feel "right." It's also fun to be "in the know" and in the "in crowd." So when the Titans win the Super Bowl, I feel great because I've always been a fan and I feel like I am a part of their success (I'm not, by the way). When people join "Team Jacob" they publicly profess their opinions about a wildly successful story line. They proclaim that they would have chosen Jacob over Edward. This frames them as sympathizing with the tragic hero. The lovable underdog (pun intended) that has a seriously messed up problem with love.

Sometimes the side choosing is for a little more of a significant cause, like politics (I know, the significant tag is arguable). We have a passionate opinion about the right way to do something. We look for a leader to represent our opinion and then throw our support behind that leader. And we get pretty dang passionate about it. We forget that the other side is made up of fellow humans who have passionate opinions just like us. We forget that, ultimately, both sides are attempting to do what they feel is "right." We marginalize the human and push the opinion to the forefront. This makes it easy for us to justify our unacceptable actions as just the means to get our "right" point across.

What is my point? Simple, before you get so wrapped up in being right, don't forget that you are human and so is the other side. Be civil. Be compassionate (not just passionate). Be nice! Also, take a moment to think about your opinion. Is it really as important as your pending actions are going to paint it?