J. Harmon Home Team Epically Helpful Blog: Odd Day of Reflection

I have a problem sometimes. I get in a rut of remembering strange events from my past. It's almost like an earworm (random song gets stuck in your head and you hear it in your head over and over and over and over) only with memories. I have had a collossal "Day of Reflection" over the past 24 hours. Just random memories flooding my brain. I will post a few of those in rapid fire fashion now. Hopefully this will be therapeutic. I will not publish names unless they are essential to the story.

My little brother once strangled me so hard I puked. I was probably 12 or so. I had been aggravating him (nothing new) and he turned demon on me. I ran. He ran faster and jumped on my back and strangled me till I almost lost consciousness and then I threw up. I deserved it.
I had this old Lincoln Continental. Technically it was my dad's but really, it was mine. Especially after I tried to take out a fire hydrant with it and left a "little scratch" on it. He paid $800 for the car so its not like it was a huge loss but still. That car had no driver's window. It also had no upper door frame so we had to tape in a piece of plexiglass. This meant I had to crawl across from the passenger side to get in and out. Classy. I got pulled over in it once and couldn't roll the window down. The officer yelled at me then felt sorry for me. We got 14 people in that car once. It was better than cramming a telephone booth because we could drive to Waffle House.
I once took cops to Eric Brown's house because of the way I drove through town. He was not happy. We were going to a church devotional and the cops showed up.
I admit it. I rolled people--several people. I'm not ready to name specifics but, if you knew me fairly well and got rolled from 1995-1998 or so, it was probably me.
We lost a kid one time rolling someone. A car was coming so we all hid. He hid better than the rest of us and we couldn't find him for like 10 minutes.
I used to jump my old Lincoln and a Ford Taurus I had "Dukes of Hazzard" style at the Smyrna Rescue squad, the railroad tracks on McNickle and the two hills that I later nearly killed myself on out on Rock Springs Road. In the Taurus a kid got chocolate milk all over the headliner because he didn't know what was coming at the Rescue Squad. I always dodged the question when my dad asked me what was on the headliner. It was chocolate milk
I once asked a girl "out" by playing the song "I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend" by the Ramones. I broke up with that same girl by playing "Free Bird". Man was I lame.
I once pulled a knife on a guy that would later be my best friend. His dad came down to my house and talked to my dad. I was in HUGE trouble but I deserved it--and then some. Sorry about that, Daniel.
I had this hat, this fisherman's hat with a bunch of buttons on it. Honestly, it was really dumb but I thought it was the coolest thing EVER. I wore it all the time. I used to trade the buttons with TGI Friday's waiters.
I decided to bleach my hair one time. I bleached it too light and the chemicals actually burned my scalp and left scabs. I am pretty sure that was a main contributing factor to my baldness.
I never could climb that stupid A-frame at Meribah. Yes, chaperones, it was me, Bobby, Daniel, Chris and Brandon that raided the kitchen that night.
I got kicked out of the cabin by the other kids at the very first church retreat I ever went to. Daniel and I had to sleep on the dock at Guntersville. It was awesome though.