My Wife

I love my wife. If you have not met her, you should. She is smart, funny, beautiful and a great complement to me. She tries really hard to be the glue for this family. She takes care of the kids, cooks, cleans, puts out signs for me, holds open houses (she is also a licensed agent) and does countless other random tasks. At the same time she is a friend to several other ladies at Church.

How does she complement me? She thinks about people more than I do. I get tasks done and try to do them efficiently. She tries to do them without alienating people. That frequently doesn't cross my mind. I think about others only when I stop moving. She thinks about others all the time. She also has a great memory and I don't. She remembers birthdays and conversations and things like that. I have to keep it written down. I love being in the middle of people, she does not. She prefers the company of one person at a time. Because of this, she makes deeper friendships where I make acquaintances (I am jealous of that by the way).

Is my wife perfect, no way. She gets too emotional and she loses stuff all the time. BUT, she is perfect for me. She knows my quirkiness and still loves me. She tries to help balance me out and does a pretty good job. If you haven't met my wife, you should. She is everything to me.

The Appraisal Conundrum and "Murica"

This has been an interesting year so far. February was the busiest month I’ve ever had while June was somewhat leisurely. There was activity, yes, but nothing like the activity in February and March. The market is at an interesting turning point as well. Buyers are buying and sellers are selling. Appraisers, however are not always giving value. 

I had a contract fall through because an appraiser would not give the contract price on his appraisal. The thing is, we were under contract on that home in 5 days at list price and had a backup offer the next day for $2,000 less than list. The appraisal came in $10,000 short. Seems to me the market told us what the house was worth, the appraiser disagreed and it all fell through (that family cannot sell for at least 6 months). He told us there were not sufficient comparable properties to show the value. I told him that is why the price is higher, there hasn’t been enough inventory--supply and demand--basic economics.

I know this is a conversation that is a little difficult to stomach after the mess we were in, but a home is worth what someone is willing to pay for it. I understand that a big part of the problem was a “bubble” where people got into a buying frenzy and drove up prices. There has to be a balance though. If a market is going to recover, values have to go up. It’s sort of like when you first graduate college and look for that first job. They all want experience. If you can’t get hired due to lack of experience, how do you ever get experience? Same thing here. If you can’t get value due to lack of comparables, how do you ever get comparables to improve the market?

On a completely different note, today is July 4th, America's Independence Day. On days like today I think about how divided people are in this country but yet how united we are. Democrats think Republicans are heartless, Republicans think Democrats are socialists, Independents and Libertarians think they are all crazy. Even with this division, we are all Americans. We have common background. The vast majority came from immigrants (at some point in their lineage) and made this country what it is today--good and bad. Its our country and it is something to be celebrated. It was an experiment in government and, even though it isn't perfect, its better than any other system. Enjoy the holiday and at least for today, forget your "side" and just be an American. Go "Murica"

Is Your Work Worship?

I think I may have written about this in the past but it was really on my mind yesterday as I stained my deck. First, if you are not a Christian, this may not apply to you. I would love for you to read it and even comment, just understand I am approaching this topic from a scriptural standpoint.

The question is, "Is your work worship?" Do you view your JOB as a form of worship and/or ministry? Most of you will immediately default to some kind of answer revolving around missionaries in the work place and being salt and light for your coworkers, clients, etc. That's fine and is certainly a part of my question but the bigger question is do you view your actual job, whether it is cooking hamburgers at McDonalds or it is digging ditches or it is helping people buy a house or writing for the newspaper, do you view that as worship and ministry? I think we should view the job itself, the labor we do to earn a paycheck, as ministry, as the opportunity to share God.

• Colossians 3:23-24 says "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving."
• Ephesians 6:5-7 says "Slaves, obey your earthly master with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ. Obey them not only to win their favor when their eye is on you, but as slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from your heart. Serve wholeheartedly  as if you were serving the Lord, not people..."
• Ecclesiastes 3:13 says, "...That each of them may eat or drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil--this is the gift of God"

When someone hires us to work, we are essentially trading them our time and expertise for their money. They expect to get a certain value for that money. They expect us to sell something for them, help people accomplish some task, accommodate some need, etc. It is our obligation, as Christians to be thankful for that opportunity to serve. I frequently hear brothers and sisters get this just a little bit wrong. They will thank God in prayer for their job and their ability to provide for their family but then turn around and complain incessantly about how horrible their boss is or how rude their customers are or how awful the conditions are, etc.

If we view our work as worship, this complaining no longer has a place. We are, instead, grateful for the opportunity and respectful of the people that provide that opportunity. We work harder than we ever have because we are working to please Christ, not the people here on Earth. We are joyful in our toils. When bumps in the road happen (and they still will of course), we are thankful for the learning experience or the character building moment. We also recognize that Satan is real and plays a part in our day to day lives and can throw those bumps in to try to derail our faith. Finally, we realize that if we work this way, our dealings with coworkers, clients, etc. produce numerous opportunities for evangelism and counseling. People see we are different and want to know how we find joy amidst struggle. It completely changes everything.

Now, I know this concept is tough. I have a tough time with it. I have delivered pizzas, worked in gas stations, worked at the cafeteria on MTSU campus, worked in the heat doing construction, worked in a warehouse. I have done all this before and if someone told me to be "joyful" about it, I would think they had lost their mind. That work is difficult, sometimes gross and definitely not somewhere it is easy to wake up every morning and praise God for the job. I get that. Just think though how your perspective will change if you make an effort to view work as ministry. I'm not good at it myself yet but I am working on it. When a deal falls through, I have a hard time being joyful. When a prospect looks at houses with me and then buys through another Realtor, I don't always think nice things. But I should.

My challenge to you is to first recognize that the work you have to do is a blessing from God. It is an opportunity to praise and an opportunity serve. You have a chance to provide value to the employer and to show Christ to them in an act of service. That will always speak louder than spouting off scriptures or wearing a WWJD bracelet. Further, God wants us to work hard. He expects us to toil. We are his ambassadors in a broken world. If someone were representing you, wouldn't you want them to be the hardest workers?

Mistakes

We all make mistakes. Very few are inclined to admit it. Even fewer are inclined to admit it when we make a mistake in our professional capacities that will inconvenience our clients. Instead we make excuses, blame technology, blame other people, create adversaries where there really are none or, in some cases, just flat out lie. Why do we do this?

Why is it so hard for us to tell our clients, "sorry about the inconvenience but I messed this up and have to redo it." We are all human, right? We know that everyone makes mistakes. I am no immune here. I sometimes hesitate when I know I've made a mistake and will cause an inconvenience to my clients in order to repair the mistake. A few weeks ago I had just bought a new iPad. I shot some video on it at a clients house (my listing). I made a mistake in the information I said during the video. It was a big enough mistake that it would be very noticeable. I tried everything from dubbing over my voice to cutting out the little section of voice to putting in a caption with a correction on it. At the end of the day I finally, after wasting several hours, just called and told them I was not happy with the clip and I wanted to re-shoot it. They said, "no problem" and I went out the next day and re-shot it.

I started thinking about this. Perhaps my admission and subsequent willingness to fix it instead of cover it up is a good thing. It communicates to my clients that when I mess up (not "if I mess up"), I will do what it takes to make it right. Thats actually an admirable trait, right? I would rather have a professional that fixes stuff than one that sweeps it under the rug.

What do you think? Does it lower your opinion of a professional when they don't admit their mistakes? Does it raise your opinion of them when they do admit it and then tell you how they will fix it? Do you believe that "true professionals" shouldn't make mistakes within their profession?

Asking for Referrals

So I am doing this job coaching thing. I have a guy that I speak with every other week coaching me to be better, basically, at life. We are talking about being better at making family time, better at being involved in stuff, better at my job, better at prospecting, etc. This past weeks conversation centered on referrals. As you know, I am a Realtor. A key component of my job is building relationships. Combine relationships with a job well done, you get happy clients. Happy clients should lead to referral business.

Unfortunately its not that simple. I do a good job for my clients, they are happy and they never send me referrals. Its not because they don't think I did a good job. Usually, its because they don't think about referring business my way. They are talking to a friend and the friend says, "We are having another baby! I think our house is getting too small!" My former client doesn't connect the dots and say, "you should call Jonathan." It's not anyone's fault and I am not mad about it. I am aware of it. So how do I get people to not only be happy with the service I provide but to also send their friends my way? Good service isn't enough. Happy clients aren't enough. My coach thinks I should ask for the referral. I should call all my former clients and ask for it. I should ask for it at closing. ("did I do a great job", "Yes", "Awesome, who else do you know that might be buying or selling soon.") I don't do that. I told him I feel weird doing it, almost too much like a salesman. If I don't ask for it though, I might not get it. Not that they would necessarily send someone somewhere else, they just might not send their friend anywhere--including to me.

What are your thoughts? How should I ask for the referral? How do I get more referrals without being "that guy."

Hearing vs. Listening

So I guess I totally missed last week. I intended to write and it just didn't happen. The thing is, I felt like I didn't write. It really is therapeutic. So the topic on my mind right now is communication. I seem to like this topic. I guess its because we all do it, some more effectively than others, and most of us think we are pretty good at it. At least we mostly think we aren't bad at it. The truth is, most of us are bad at truly communicating. We are all pretty good at talking and sending out messages, but that is not really communication. Good communication involves more listening than it does talking. And, I am finally realizing, listening is not the same as hearing.

Hearing means someone made a sound and your brain registered it as such. Listening means you heard it, processed the message and applied some sort of reaction to the message. Perhaps the message instigated a change in behavior, perhaps it elicited an emotional response, perhaps you gave a verbal rebuttal. Either way, you reacted to the message that was sent to you. Really listening is a step deeper than that. You react appropriately to the message that the sender intended to send. That is where I have a hard time still.

I tend to react to the message I thought I heard. I do not always really listen and thus I do not always react to the message the sender intended to send. This is a fine but VERY important distinction and one I am working desperately on making part of my every day routine.

I would love some advice on this topic. Are you a good listener? Do you practice some kind of technique to be better at listening? Please share!!

Inconsiderate vs. Lack of Consideration

My wife and I had a conversation yesterday that was pretty interesting. It was sparked by the people dropping their kids off at my son's school. On the surface, it seems like these people are completely devoid of any kind of courtesy, forethought or consideration. Yes, I know that is a big statement to make in the context of such a small task as dropping off the kids for school in the morning. Without drawing you a map, it is hard to explain but I will try. The drop off area on the side of the school is in 2 lanes. When you leave, you go either right or left depending on which lane you are in. This layout has not changed in several years so its not a surprise to anyone. Inevitably, however, there is always someone who held up the line at 7:25 (school starts at 7:30) to make sure they got their kid in the left lane because it is 2 steps closer to the school entrance and then had to make a jump into the right lane to leave that way. It is aggravating to me because that person could have planned ahead a little and started in the right lane and made the kid walk an extra couple of steps. They seem to be oblivious to the headache it causes others and that it holds others up.

At first I thought it was stupid, thoughtless, and rude. Now I am not so sure. I think people, in general, are so focused on their own position, their own "world", that they are not inconsiderate but instead completely lack consideration. I know that sounds the same but it is, in fact, very different. Being inconsiderate means they do it on purpose. They know that what they are doing is selfish and just don't care. Lacking consideration means they never even gave it pause to think that what they are doing could cause others some frustration. They truly are oblivious to how their decision (or lack of decision) impacts others. I think being inconsiderate is worse because there is intention behind it. The only thing behind lack of consideration is ignorance. Ignorance can be helped, if you can get to them. On the flip side, there are so many people that completely lack any level of consideration that we have become an inconsiderate society. That is not good either. I remember in grade school having "guidance" and other "classes" where they discussed citizenship and being a good citizen. I don't know if that is part of any school curriculum anymore but it certainly should be. Try to teach children that other people exist, have places to be, have families, have feelings--just like you do.

I know people like this on a more personal level too. Much like the parents in the drop off lane, they don't seem to make a connection to the idea that  the words they use, the way they talk to other people, the attitude they present themselves with drives people away. They drift through life oblivious to the effect they have on other people. Group sizes dwindle and they say stuff like "oh those stupid people quit coming". It never even crosses their mind that perhaps they were a big contributor to that. No one likes to be around a bully. Even if the bully doesn't target them specifically, people don't want to be on the radar, so they stay away. The only way to protect a group when one of these toxic people is in it is to either convince them to look at themselves or to cut them from the group. Neither of which is easy!

What are your thoughts on this? Do you know people that lack consideration? How have you dealt with it in the past? What are some conversation starters to try to approach this topic with a toxic person?